Bullying In School: Dealing With Teacher Bullying

You suspect that your child is a victim of teacher bullying. Now what? It is essential that you let your head and not your heart rule your emotions. You must have a plan of action in mind before storming down to your local school to confront the teacher you suspect of bullying your child.

Speaking as a concerned parent, the most important step in the entire process is getting the clear, undisputable proof that the teacher bullying is actually happening. I have four children and sometimes they all "stretch the true" to avoid getting in trouble.

The last thing you need is to head down to the school fuming mad, confront the teacher and make threats of further action only to later find out that your child was not being honest with you about what happened.  Imagine the working relationship that you and your child would have with that teacher for the remainder of the year.  Not a very good one I would suspect.

So before grabbing the phone to make "the call" to the school or heading down to the school to confront the teacher, you need to do some investigating and have plan of action that is based on factual evidence and not pure emotion! Here are some essential steps:

1. Speak to your child when everyone's emotions have settled down to make sure that you clearly understand what they have told you.  Provide them with the opportunity to include more information, just in case they "forgot to tell you a few things" when they were upset earlier about how the teacher is treating them.
2. Ask your child if there were witnesses to the teacher bullying.  Get name of student who are not just your child's best friends, as you want impartial witnesses that you feel with tell things exactly as they happened.  Contact these witnesses and chat with them noting down the facts on paper so you can refer to them at the meeting.
3. If you still feel that there is a clear case of teacher bullying, phone the school and set up a face to face meeting with your child's teacher and the school principal as they are the boss of the school.  It is also important to have this  third person present to ensure the meeting sticks to the facts and doesn't turn into a "finger pointing session" and an emotional rollercoaster for you or the teacher.
4. Personally, I would take my child along to the meeting so that they have a chance to tell their side of the story and let the teacher know how their behavior is making them feel, as well this allows the teacher to present their feels to the student about why there is a problem between them.  I know some do not like having the student at the meeting feeling that facing their teacher is too intimidating, however my view is that it is important for the child to have a chance to express their feelings to the teacher.
5. Request that the meeting be documented and that you have a written copy to refer to should you need to take further action if the teacher bullying does not stop.  By further action I mean contacting the Superintendent of Schools and the School Board.
6. Be willing to compromise and accept that even if there is clear teacher bullying, you are willing to work with your child to curb any behaviors that may be fueling this inappropriate behavior by the teacher provided that the teacher is willing to do their part and stop bullying your child.
7. Ask permission, and make time, to visit your child's classroom to observe for yourself what is going on.  Unless the school principal or teacher has something to hide, they should be more than agreeable to this arrangement.  As a teacher myself, I know that some parents would be shocked to see how their child behaves in the classroom compared to when they are present.  This will show your child that you are concerned about teacher bullying problem and demonstrate to the teacher that you are not just willing to believe one side of the story, but wish to see for yourself what is going on.
8. If things do not change for your child after meeting with the teacher and principal of the school, that is the teacher bullying is continuing and nothing is being done to stop it, then it is time to seriously consider other options such as requesting your child be moved to a different teacher for that grade or subject, changing schools if that is possible, or consider schooling at home through a distance learning school, or if you feel competent, homeschooling your child.

Some situations, no matter how how we all try, cannot be resolved to the satisfaction of all parties concerned.  In the clear cases of teachers who bully students, it is our duty as parents to take the necessary steps as outlined above, to protect our children.  Keep in mind that bullying of any kind is never acceptable, and no one deserves to be bullied!